The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
Are we still banned from the library?
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
and you fell through a lawn chair
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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