I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
