I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
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