got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
I need to sanitize my soul.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
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