my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
Randomize
