Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize
