I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Randomize
