don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
In other news, I just burned my penis
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
