i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
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