I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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