You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
