i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
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