I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Randomize
