How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
