i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
