Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
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