What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
