im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
