just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
Randomize
