She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
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