The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
Randomize
