Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
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