i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Randomize
