My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Randomize
