it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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