I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
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