Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
my sisters under your porch take her home
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
Randomize
