Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
Randomize
