Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
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