I saw his package. It spoke to me.
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
