kristin has been a bad kristin
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
I stole a fireplace last night.
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
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