You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Randomize
