Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
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