I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
Randomize
