Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
