whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
Randomize
