Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
Randomize
