I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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