Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
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