Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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