Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
Randomize
