Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
Randomize
