that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Randomize
