I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Randomize
