Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
No subtext here. People are naked.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
