I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
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