i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
Randomize
