Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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