They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
one might say we're banned from that church
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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