She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
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