I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
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